Cup of Coffee
by angelbliss78
Summary: Angsty little piece about Serena & Darien. inspired by the garbage song; Cup of Coffee. Alt Reality. R&R!


I'm back! Although I doubt anyone remembers me. Just to spark your memory  
  
I was the one who wrote Heaven's Sent & Together for All Eternity (What  
  
attrocious pieces they were indeed! I'm ashamed!)   
  
Feedback would be great!   
  
angelbliss78@hotmail.com  
  
Revolving around the lyrics to a song by Garbage called Cup of Coffee.   
  
Thanks a bundle for reading, and cheers!  
  
  
  
CUP OF COFFEE PG  
  
----------  
  
You tell me you don't love me over a cup of coffee  
  
And I just have to look away  
  
----------  
  
So there we sat, face to face. At the usual place. The 'trendy' place. The place  
  
we had been going to together since it had first opened. The place I, no we had  
  
grown to love. Well, so I had suspected. He had never been a fan of coffee  
  
when we had first met. It was me that had influenced him to start drinking it,  
  
it was me who had begged him to start making this place a habit. It was this  
  
habit of drinking coffee that had perhaps driven him away, for I know it is this   
  
very act that had allowed him to meet this 'new person'. I know because on a  
  
later date from today - I will be sharing a cup of coffee with he, and the very  
  
person who will steal his heart from me.  
  
"I don't think we can be together anymore..." he paused.   
  
My eyes couldn't reach him. I couldn't look at him. The world was spinning   
  
giddily around me.  
  
--------  
  
A million miles between us  
  
Planets crashing to dust  
  
I just let it fade away  
  
--------  
  
"I..." he paused as though he needed to shape his next words, shape them  
  
so they wouldn't hurt me. Couldn't he just say them? Harsh and Cold, the  
  
way I wanted to hear them. So I could hate him more. What was the point?  
  
What was he expecting to make different? My heart would still be broken  
  
either way. He'd be gone either way.   
  
"I want to concentrate on school. And I don't think I can with you..."  
  
His words trailed off. I stopped listening, intently looking at the milky -   
  
brown liquid in front of me. Mocha, like always. And he? just the  
  
usual plain latte. And the first thing I ponder - will I ever be to drink  
  
this drink again without thinking of him? The answer so blatantly obvious  
  
- no.  
  
"I understand." My voice rasped.   
  
The world continues to spin.  
  
--------  
  
I'm walking empty streets hoping we might meet  
  
I see your car parked on the road  
  
The light on at your window  
  
I know for sure that you're home  
  
But I just have to pass on by  
  
--------  
  
That was the summer of 2002, tightening the jacket around me, I slowly  
  
walk down the quiet alleys of the city. The streets where we stole time  
  
for ourselves. The streets where we stole moments out of a love story   
  
for ourselves only. Autumn weather is always so unpredictable. One day   
  
we'll be basking the in the warmth of the sun and fall asleep to the low  
  
hum of cicadas. The next it will rain cats and dogs, blowing harsh  
  
winds as cold as the Arctic. I guess today was one of the weirder days,  
  
warm as summer in the morning and bleak as hell after sunset. I wish I  
  
had worn a thicker jacket.   
  
Three more blocks... Two more... The ugly sight of your house... ugly  
  
because I can't bare to look at it. But the need to pass by just hoping  
  
to see you is undeniable, unavoidable. Parked outside is the sleek BMW  
  
you've always had. You're blinds slightly ajar, the dim light echoing  
  
out into the dark street. I wonder what exactly you're doing inside right  
  
now? Are you thinking of me?  
  
--------  
  
So no of course we can't be friends  
  
Not while I'm still this obsessed  
  
I guess I always knew the score  
  
This is how our story ends  
  
-------  
  
The familiar melodic tune on my mobile rings, it plays a melody that I  
  
haven't heard in too long. A melody which was designated to you only.   
  
"Hey... Did you just finish work?" Your friendly voice cheers over the  
  
phone. "I thought I just saw you walk by my place."   
  
My heart skips a beat. It seems its been too long since i'd last heard  
  
your voice. Eight months to be exact. That's more than enough time to  
  
get over someone...  
  
right?  
  
"So maybe we could go have a coffee sometime? At scenario maybe?" you   
  
sound so disenchanted. "Just like old times. Whaddaya say?"  
  
"Um..." The moment is so awkward  
  
"C'mon! you can meet my new girlfriend" You say so innocently.  
  
It all comes crashing at me like a wave. I'm not over you. How can I   
  
be? The idea of being replaced makes me feel ill to the bone. For Gods  
  
sake! I still go to the same places, the same little coffee store. I still sit   
  
at the same table we used to sit at, I even drink the damn coffee you  
  
drank. I always knew this day would come. The dreaded day I find out  
  
someone else has taken you away from me. The day to finally move on.  
  
"I think i'll pass this time. Thanks anyway"   
  
That was it. Funny how such simply words could end what I believed was  
  
one of love's greatest chapters. That was the last call I recieved from  
  
you.  
  
--------  
  
I smoke your brand of cigarettes  
  
And pray that you might give me a call  
  
-------  
  
Smoking had never been my thing. Infact, I had vowed never to smoke.  
  
My father had smoked since I can remember. I had always found it the  
  
utmost disgusting thing. Until I met you. Somehow... somehow the habit  
  
caught. Call it peer pressure, call it wanting to fit it, whatever you  
  
want.   
  
After taking another sip of the Latte that had just been placed in front  
  
of me, I light up another Cartier. I'd never been a big fan of those. I  
  
had always been a Davidoff smoker. But they were your favourites. You'd  
  
always laugh when the butt of the cigarette sogged up by the end when I  
  
smoked them. But you and I both know - It was only Cartier that had that  
  
effect on me. I smile as I take my last drag, remembering your smile,  
  
remembering your words when we fought over the last drag - "Cigarette  
  
Butt is bad for you!" I put it out. The number of twisted butts in the  
  
ashtray slowly accumulating as I stare aimlessly at my phone.  
  
My phone. What a joke. Here the pretty little thing is staring at me in  
  
my face. It's shiny sportscar red and glistening diamantes. But looking  
  
pretty doesn't seem to save it when all I want to do is throw it onto  
  
the hard paved floors. What's the point when you don't call anymore?  
  
The same melody is still reserved for you. Although I never hear it play.   
  
The diamantes reflect playfully in the light. Tempting, pushing me to  
  
flip the darn thing open and make a call. It's almost as though they were  
  
whispering to me "call him.. call him.."  
  
Perhaps I will... for a cup of coffee.  
  
-------  
  
I lie around in bed all day just staring at the walls  
  
Hanging round bars at night wishing I had never been born  
  
And give myself to anyone who wants to take me home  
  
-------  
  
No work today. I hate it when I don't have to work. All I ever end up  
  
doing is lazing around at home thinking of you. Staring pointlessly  
  
into space as I start to drift back in time.  
  
Three more hours, three more hours until I leave this hell hole. Ben,  
  
the hot guy at work has invited me for a round of drinks at Maloney's  
  
tonight. Just another three hours until he gets off work. Should I be  
  
getting dressed now? My head lifts itself off the pillow it's been   
  
resting on and I catch a glimpse of my rumpled hair. Dropping itself   
  
back onto the pillow effortlessly I wonder, Just another lapse into  
  
the past won't hurt... would it?  
  
--------  
  
You left behind some clothes  
  
My belly summersaults when I pick them off the floor  
  
--------  
  
I don't know why but I like to clean when I'm drunk. Well, I wouldn't  
  
say drunk, I'd say sober... or maybe tipsy. But Ben believes i'm drunk.  
  
I'm not I tell you! Scavenging up the remainder of the pile of clothes  
  
to sort, the semi-familiar sight of a grey jacket greets me. Butterflies  
  
fill my stomach as I raise the jacket up to my face, inhaling what's  
  
left of your smell.  
  
--------  
  
My friends all say they're worried  
  
I'm looking far too skinny  
  
I've stopped returning all their calls  
  
-------  
  
Work has taken it's toll on me, as has depression. I've lost a total of  
  
nine kilos since we'd last parted from the coffee shop. A smashing 35   
  
kilos I weigh now. Personally I think I look fantastic, i've never seen  
  
my stomach so flat in so long. People at work say i've lost weight from  
  
when I started, 'Long lost friends' say i've lost weight.   
  
"My god! You're so skinnyyyyyy!!" they all exclaim.   
  
"No I'm not!" I playfully retort. "There's still fat left! See?!" I   
  
pinch the remaining fat. Then bid farewell and the never-ending promise   
  
to 'keep in touch'. Impossible. All I do in my spare time is think...   
  
of you.  
  
---------  
  
And no of course we can't be friends  
  
Not while I'm still so obsessed  
  
I want to ask where I went wrong   
  
But don't say anything at all  
  
--------  
  
Another pointless day off from work. I stare intensly at the walls.   
  
Dreaming again... of another time gone by. Another story of the past.  
  
But today's pondering is different to usual. This pondering comes up  
  
every now and again. Not as often as the other though - this one   
  
happens to be more painful, therefore I try to avoid it as often as  
  
possibly. I guess today was one of those 'I can't be bothered to avoid  
  
it' days. Pondering what you may ask? Pondering... Asking.... Where the  
  
Hell did I go wrong? When was the exact moment I took the wrong step,   
  
said the wrong things? When was it exactly that I had pushed you off the  
  
edge, walked you down the different path? But I suppose these questions  
  
will never have an answer.  
  
---------  
  
It took a cup of coffee  
  
To prove that you don't love me  
  
---------  
  
I stir the tan colour liquid in front of me. Hazelnut Latte. I was right,  
  
I could never drink a Mocha again. It was a drink that was mine, when you  
  
were mine. I smile at the thought. The thought of Mocha and your words ---  
  
"Why drink Mocha? It's not even coffee! It's like Hot Chocolate! If   
  
you're going to drink coffee at least drink something decent like a   
  
Latte! It's not Coffee if it's sweet!"  
  
It's a Latte alright, but an innocently sweet one. I light up a Davidoff.  
  
I can't show you I've changed. I guess it's time to move on. Face the   
  
music. And I see your achingly beautiful face.  
  
"Serena... Meet Alice. My new girlfriend."  
  
  
  
angelbliss78@hotmail.com May 3 2003 


End file.
